I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
