I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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