We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The uberlube is also flammable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
