will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
