She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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