You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
