She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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