He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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