her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
