he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is Oprah even human
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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