Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
