Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
