that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
