is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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