your parents love me but you hate me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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