He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
