Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
