Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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