I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
