Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
