hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
