i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
