She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
