nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
