Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
