She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize