dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
