god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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