If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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