i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
