Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
