I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
