You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
