now i know why i became what i already was.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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