he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
