super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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