what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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