So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
