I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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