I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
