brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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