The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
