we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
