Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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