I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
