so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
