you would pick up someone in the library
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
