Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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