Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
