i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
