what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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