I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
