Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
