Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
