just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
zippers are such a cool invention
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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