Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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