we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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